The only question for us has ever been, will Conrad Black come licking at the feet of the Canadian government and beg for his citizenship, which did not seem too important when the prospect of a peerage in Great Whiner Britain came knocking.
Should he prostrate himself at the feet of Her Majesty's government, he will, of course, be welcomed back into the fold, to protect the sanctity of the Crown and to deprive the perfidous Americans of this one-sided, idiotic, completely Nazi, worthy of eternal terrorist extermination verdict, hand delivered as retaliation for quitting the illegal war America is waging on democracy and freedom everywhere it rears its proud head.
America is evil, and we clap for every blow against this beast, however it comes, in every conceivable way shape and form. An American death, while common and mundane, is a good death, in that an American has died.
But Conrad Black, universally hated as he is by the Canadian people, would only condemn himself to status of "afraid of America," which is worse than "child molester," which is only worse in qualitative consideration than "Daniel Hoffmann-Gill-ish," and is therefore the worst thing a Canadian can be called.
As such, and since I fucked Eva Jane numerous times, and killed Michael, whoever the hell he was, may he rot in the hell I created for him, we call upon Conrad Black to deprive the Americans of their piece of shit verdict, and at the same time to spare Her Majesty's reputation, by immediately committing ritual suicide.
When Mr. Black does this, and we expect that within twenty-four hours he will take the noble, if not fucking noble, way to the end of his treachery, we will do the very best we can for his reputation, and simply erase it from history, sparing his name everything it deserves.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Final Clarity, Farewells
First of all, let me be frank. Fuck you.
To all of you, and this includes the whiner limeys first and foremost, you all sold out because apparently, dedication to preventing war is just another fad with you.
Being so fucking shallow, I was embarrassed to have called you all friend. While you're all whoring your lives to whatever simple fancies your corporate whoremasters come up with to keep the people perpetually confined to economic slavery, I've decided to turn my "friendship" of you into a faddish thing.
It has passed, and in the same way a meal which lasts an hour ends up as shit that lasts a lifetime, my "affection" for you has run its natural course, and is a rather virile hatred of you, your fucking pompous bullshit, your arrogant thoughts that I'm the one who changed or is somehow fucking the world over, or whatever trip it is you're on.
I taught you things you will never have the chance to learn again. I introduced you to the realm of the real world, where the guns are always loaded, and people who fuck up stay dead. If you can honestly turn around and crawl back into the womb of the numb middle class, then I declare you unregenerated and heretical.
You are not good enough to live in the real world. As we fucking noble ones say, you can't hack it. Go 'way punk, you bother me.
So farewell. I have found love, and believe me, she is an eternity greater a wretch that the worst of you could hope to be. At last my heart has found someone in which it can rejoice.
Done, done with the frauds, the cowards, the lice-infested barrel rummagers in life's garbage. Onto my greatest glories and the highest planes of truth. Away, you scavengers, beauty is afoot, and all you have earned is the mud at the bottom of the puddle.
To all of you, and this includes the whiner limeys first and foremost, you all sold out because apparently, dedication to preventing war is just another fad with you.
Being so fucking shallow, I was embarrassed to have called you all friend. While you're all whoring your lives to whatever simple fancies your corporate whoremasters come up with to keep the people perpetually confined to economic slavery, I've decided to turn my "friendship" of you into a faddish thing.
It has passed, and in the same way a meal which lasts an hour ends up as shit that lasts a lifetime, my "affection" for you has run its natural course, and is a rather virile hatred of you, your fucking pompous bullshit, your arrogant thoughts that I'm the one who changed or is somehow fucking the world over, or whatever trip it is you're on.
I taught you things you will never have the chance to learn again. I introduced you to the realm of the real world, where the guns are always loaded, and people who fuck up stay dead. If you can honestly turn around and crawl back into the womb of the numb middle class, then I declare you unregenerated and heretical.
You are not good enough to live in the real world. As we fucking noble ones say, you can't hack it. Go 'way punk, you bother me.
So farewell. I have found love, and believe me, she is an eternity greater a wretch that the worst of you could hope to be. At last my heart has found someone in which it can rejoice.
Done, done with the frauds, the cowards, the lice-infested barrel rummagers in life's garbage. Onto my greatest glories and the highest planes of truth. Away, you scavengers, beauty is afoot, and all you have earned is the mud at the bottom of the puddle.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Why I Fucked Eva Jane In Her Ass
Having been fucked with by a certain control freak limey, I feel it is obligatory that I respond by explaining how I fucked his girlfriend in the ass. It was last weekend at a concert festival.
Okay, now that he's tuned out, we can talk about real brass tacks without fearing a Bono poseur's nosy interference. I was actually at a music festival this weekend, and can state the following with triple confirmed surety:
1. Folk music is dead.
2. Communism has been coopted by careerist motherfuckers.
3. Free love is a stupid slogan good only for selling junk to old hippies.
4. Heroin is Mankind's greatest achievement.
Explanations:
Folk music is supposed to be the natural expression of a people cut off from the global community, or as uppity people like to say, regionally isolated, which communicates a faithful sense of their development as an organic community.
Unfortunately, "folk music," is a stupid slogan good only for selling junk to old hippies.
Communism is supposed to be a collective struggle against the aristocratic power of the bourgeoisie, so that their historically lapsed control over the hearts and minds of the global citizenry can be put to an end. Instead, communism is little more than the establishment of job security for the phoniest cocksuckers ever to graduate from institutions of "higher" learning, and has absolutely nothing to do with the dictatorship of the proletariat over the peasantry.
In short, "communism" is a stupid slogan, good only for selling dumb fucks on thinly disguised anarcho-capitalism.
Free love does not exist, as love no longer exists, extinguished as it was by greedy careerist fucks running around feeling superior to everyone their sloganised movements is supposed to be ameliorating.
Heroin, invented in Germany in the late 1800s, is man's greatest invention. Now the true Marxists can't complain about religion being the opiate of the masses, because thanks to an unprecedented, illegal invasion of Afghanistan, we are responsible for providing those same masses with the most potent, cheapest replacement for God available, at the mere cost of a trillion tax dollars and thousands of innocent lives.
What it took revolutionaries years to minimise, not eradicate, by armed insurrection has taken the American government a mere five years to accomplish. Thanks to them, and Canada's willingness to sacrifice its soldiers to protect their Afghani grow operation, they have become the most godless bunch of confused fucks in the world in mere months.
So why am I complaining? Oh, I just hate hypocrisy, don't mind me. You'll just ignore all that moral stuff anyway on your way to trample everyone else in your stampede toward the middle. And that is why you make me retch.
Having been fucked with by a certain control freak limey, I feel it is obligatory that I respond by explaining how I fucked his girlfriend in the ass. It was last weekend at a concert festival.
Okay, now that he's tuned out, we can talk about real brass tacks without fearing a Bono poseur's nosy interference. I was actually at a music festival this weekend, and can state the following with triple confirmed surety:
1. Folk music is dead.
2. Communism has been coopted by careerist motherfuckers.
3. Free love is a stupid slogan good only for selling junk to old hippies.
4. Heroin is Mankind's greatest achievement.
Explanations:
Folk music is supposed to be the natural expression of a people cut off from the global community, or as uppity people like to say, regionally isolated, which communicates a faithful sense of their development as an organic community.
Unfortunately, "folk music," is a stupid slogan good only for selling junk to old hippies.
Communism is supposed to be a collective struggle against the aristocratic power of the bourgeoisie, so that their historically lapsed control over the hearts and minds of the global citizenry can be put to an end. Instead, communism is little more than the establishment of job security for the phoniest cocksuckers ever to graduate from institutions of "higher" learning, and has absolutely nothing to do with the dictatorship of the proletariat over the peasantry.
In short, "communism" is a stupid slogan, good only for selling dumb fucks on thinly disguised anarcho-capitalism.
Free love does not exist, as love no longer exists, extinguished as it was by greedy careerist fucks running around feeling superior to everyone their sloganised movements is supposed to be ameliorating.
Heroin, invented in Germany in the late 1800s, is man's greatest invention. Now the true Marxists can't complain about religion being the opiate of the masses, because thanks to an unprecedented, illegal invasion of Afghanistan, we are responsible for providing those same masses with the most potent, cheapest replacement for God available, at the mere cost of a trillion tax dollars and thousands of innocent lives.
What it took revolutionaries years to minimise, not eradicate, by armed insurrection has taken the American government a mere five years to accomplish. Thanks to them, and Canada's willingness to sacrifice its soldiers to protect their Afghani grow operation, they have become the most godless bunch of confused fucks in the world in mere months.
So why am I complaining? Oh, I just hate hypocrisy, don't mind me. You'll just ignore all that moral stuff anyway on your way to trample everyone else in your stampede toward the middle. And that is why you make me retch.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Let's Talk
Hello, you're on the air with El. Col. Dr. Tonight's discussion: Daniel Hoffmann-Gill--overly sensitive whiner or pushy hypocrite? Let's go to the phones.
On the line we have Ethel from Omaha. You're on, Ethel.
"Hi, Col. Dr., love you, love your show. Let me first say that, as an American, I am evil. And I want to know just who the hell Daniel thinks he is telling you to stop parodying his sellout self while he remains unapologetic about suddenly turning against you and everything good and pure in the world."
Exactly, Ethel. Next, we go to Miami, and we have William on the phone.
"Hi, Col. Dr, long time listener, first time caller. I'm American, and as such am a murderer and deserve to die. I want to know what crawled up your pretentious ex-friend's ass that he's acting like a prima dona British cocksucker who doesn't know where he came from."
Exactly. Next.
"Hi, this is whoever from wherever. Daniel Hofmann-Gill is only alleviating his hypocritical conscience by pretending that he extended you an olive branch, when in reality what he did was a form of assault. And all Americans should die."
Exactly. Anyone else?
"Just me, Col. Dr., and I want to know what you would say to Daniel Hoffman-Gill if he were reading this right now."
Oh, that's easy. I'd wish him all the best in his new career as an American mouthpiece.
Now, on to something more interesting. Like dirt mites. Fascinating creatures, cleaner than anyone from Scotland OR Nottingham, and STILL cause major diseases in the weak and needy.
Well, that's all the time we have. Until next time, when about seven more Canadians will have been killed protecting America's heroin from the Taliban, this is Col. Dr., and you are slightly less stupid than you were fifteen minutes ago.
Secret bonus materials available only on DVD: I'm Dan, motherfucker.
On the line we have Ethel from Omaha. You're on, Ethel.
"Hi, Col. Dr., love you, love your show. Let me first say that, as an American, I am evil. And I want to know just who the hell Daniel thinks he is telling you to stop parodying his sellout self while he remains unapologetic about suddenly turning against you and everything good and pure in the world."
Exactly, Ethel. Next, we go to Miami, and we have William on the phone.
"Hi, Col. Dr, long time listener, first time caller. I'm American, and as such am a murderer and deserve to die. I want to know what crawled up your pretentious ex-friend's ass that he's acting like a prima dona British cocksucker who doesn't know where he came from."
Exactly. Next.
"Hi, this is whoever from wherever. Daniel Hofmann-Gill is only alleviating his hypocritical conscience by pretending that he extended you an olive branch, when in reality what he did was a form of assault. And all Americans should die."
Exactly. Anyone else?
"Just me, Col. Dr., and I want to know what you would say to Daniel Hoffman-Gill if he were reading this right now."
Oh, that's easy. I'd wish him all the best in his new career as an American mouthpiece.
Now, on to something more interesting. Like dirt mites. Fascinating creatures, cleaner than anyone from Scotland OR Nottingham, and STILL cause major diseases in the weak and needy.
Well, that's all the time we have. Until next time, when about seven more Canadians will have been killed protecting America's heroin from the Taliban, this is Col. Dr., and you are slightly less stupid than you were fifteen minutes ago.
Secret bonus materials available only on DVD: I'm Dan, motherfucker.
Crazy? I'll Tell You Who's Crazy
It has recently been suggested to me that certain circumstances under which I am forced to live my life are the cause of my recent freakouts and name calling, even though this site is declaimed as pure entertainment, and the offended are getting the wrong idea.
Let's examine the rants, and cut to the chase. I hate this war, and at this point, anyone who has anything other than complete contempt for it. And this is, what, insane? Troubled? Confused?
How insane is allowing an unprovoked war of dominance and theft to continue a single day, let alone five fucking years? The People have more than enough ability to shut down the function of their government with one gigantic, all encompassing, moral strike.
But instead they ramped up on propaganda and trampled someone who is proven even more innocent of the war's causal circumstances with each passing day. Reactionary terrorism, as it has been confined to the arena of combat, is what dictionaries call National Defense.
You are crazy.
Let's examine the rants, and cut to the chase. I hate this war, and at this point, anyone who has anything other than complete contempt for it. And this is, what, insane? Troubled? Confused?
How insane is allowing an unprovoked war of dominance and theft to continue a single day, let alone five fucking years? The People have more than enough ability to shut down the function of their government with one gigantic, all encompassing, moral strike.
But instead they ramped up on propaganda and trampled someone who is proven even more innocent of the war's causal circumstances with each passing day. Reactionary terrorism, as it has been confined to the arena of combat, is what dictionaries call National Defense.
You are crazy.
Panjawaii Blues
The war is illegal and must end immediately.
Here's how life works: either you get to invade and kill people, or you get to live in peace, exhibiting moral leadership in an increasingly violent world. You don't get to do both.
Here's how life works: either you get to invade and kill people, or you get to live in peace, exhibiting moral leadership in an increasingly violent world. You don't get to do both.
Called Out
Scooter Libby copped out. Bush copped out. Everyone has copped out. And yet, you are all still responsible for people being murdered daily.
Er, do you all think that you can blink and make promises to stop murdering the women and children sometime in the near future and just exonerate yourselves of this mess? Anyone who does is stupider than an English Prime Minister who hops into bed with George Bush over an illegal war.
Statement: The Iraq war was an act of premeditated, aggravated murder, which in criminal terms is commonly known as a "triple threat." First was the intent to destroy Iraq's defenses and invade. Second was to reap material benefit from said act. Thirdly was to kill innocent people during the comission of said act. And in Texas, felony murder is capital murder.
Bush should know. He executed dozens of people for doing the same thing.
While the TV-attention-spanned people who mostly populate the Internet seem to have forgotten there is an illegal war going, and turned to completely selfish complaints which sound fucking ridiculous in the midst of global warfare, the fact remains simple and chronic that the once-sensible governments of the West are now fully complicit either in finding relish in a bloodbath of Biblical proportion, or providing high tech military security for the world's largest heroin grow op.
There is only one issue which should be filling blogs, and causing anxiety among you thrill seeking TLC watching bunch of wet noodle douchebags. The Fucking War is being lost, and it ain't the winning kind.
It is insane beyond all comprehension that people have become so gullible, as to believe Islamist elements would fuck up the British withdrawl, when the only people who can benefit from bombing London or the drunken Scots is America. Not "The Coalition of the Willing," not NATO, not the Masons, or any other conglomispiracy out there.
America is the only party who gains from terrorism in Britain, and is therefore the distant frontrunner in the lineup of usual suspects.
To clear the air permanently, I state and restate for the millionth time, laughing off your abuse which is sure to come screaming in yet again, that if you are not being abused yourself for going way too far over the line in trying to bring attention to the illegality of the war, then you are a coward who has put his selfish interest ahead of all them cute little children you weep over in U2 propaganda videos.
Unless you are risking jail, death, poverty, accusations of mental defect, or any of the fun I get to go through on a daily basis--including summary detention and random violent police harrassment in public--then you have no right whatsoever to suggest that I'm being inappropriate.
Don't like being told your country deserved it? Stop the fucking war.
Don't like having wet weasel shit associated with your name? Stop the fucking war, or at least end your support of it by becoming radically opposed to it.
Don't like having to deal with the shit your nation caused? Stop it from causing it.
I am.
And I am.
Daniel: Your "guests" are fucking assholes and you protect them. Have fun with them, and just so somebody's told you, that hollow feeling you get, like everyone around you is lying to you and you can't trust anyone...that's the paranoia that comes as a result of taking the easy way out of a war.
Your "plea" below leaves me short. It doesn't address the problem, and even tells me you don't have time for whatever that pesky thing could be. Whatever sentimental trip spurred the comment could use a little retrospect, a lot of introspect, and a fucking ton of basic respect.
Fuck, I'm noble.
Er, do you all think that you can blink and make promises to stop murdering the women and children sometime in the near future and just exonerate yourselves of this mess? Anyone who does is stupider than an English Prime Minister who hops into bed with George Bush over an illegal war.
Statement: The Iraq war was an act of premeditated, aggravated murder, which in criminal terms is commonly known as a "triple threat." First was the intent to destroy Iraq's defenses and invade. Second was to reap material benefit from said act. Thirdly was to kill innocent people during the comission of said act. And in Texas, felony murder is capital murder.
Bush should know. He executed dozens of people for doing the same thing.
While the TV-attention-spanned people who mostly populate the Internet seem to have forgotten there is an illegal war going, and turned to completely selfish complaints which sound fucking ridiculous in the midst of global warfare, the fact remains simple and chronic that the once-sensible governments of the West are now fully complicit either in finding relish in a bloodbath of Biblical proportion, or providing high tech military security for the world's largest heroin grow op.
There is only one issue which should be filling blogs, and causing anxiety among you thrill seeking TLC watching bunch of wet noodle douchebags. The Fucking War is being lost, and it ain't the winning kind.
It is insane beyond all comprehension that people have become so gullible, as to believe Islamist elements would fuck up the British withdrawl, when the only people who can benefit from bombing London or the drunken Scots is America. Not "The Coalition of the Willing," not NATO, not the Masons, or any other conglomispiracy out there.
America is the only party who gains from terrorism in Britain, and is therefore the distant frontrunner in the lineup of usual suspects.
To clear the air permanently, I state and restate for the millionth time, laughing off your abuse which is sure to come screaming in yet again, that if you are not being abused yourself for going way too far over the line in trying to bring attention to the illegality of the war, then you are a coward who has put his selfish interest ahead of all them cute little children you weep over in U2 propaganda videos.
Unless you are risking jail, death, poverty, accusations of mental defect, or any of the fun I get to go through on a daily basis--including summary detention and random violent police harrassment in public--then you have no right whatsoever to suggest that I'm being inappropriate.
Don't like being told your country deserved it? Stop the fucking war.
Don't like having wet weasel shit associated with your name? Stop the fucking war, or at least end your support of it by becoming radically opposed to it.
Don't like having to deal with the shit your nation caused? Stop it from causing it.
I am.
And I am.
Daniel: Your "guests" are fucking assholes and you protect them. Have fun with them, and just so somebody's told you, that hollow feeling you get, like everyone around you is lying to you and you can't trust anyone...that's the paranoia that comes as a result of taking the easy way out of a war.
Your "plea" below leaves me short. It doesn't address the problem, and even tells me you don't have time for whatever that pesky thing could be. Whatever sentimental trip spurred the comment could use a little retrospect, a lot of introspect, and a fucking ton of basic respect.
Fuck, I'm noble.
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